Casting Upcoming Dr. Seuss Movies

One of Dr. Seuss' most beloved and memorable tales is ripe for translation to the big screen. Consisting of a mere 50 words, hopefully writers Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman (2000's How the Grinch Stole Christmas) are available to inflate this story to feature length.

CASTING CHOICES:

Sam-I-Am

Jack Black -- Black can pull off the child-like exuberance that it would take to turn this pestering character lovable.

Grinch-like hater on Green Eggs and Ham

Steve Carell -- Already well-versed in Seussland as the Mayor of Who-Ville in Horton Hears a Who, Carell is a perfectly-suited counterpoint to Black's relentless effort to pawn off the puke-green breakfast.

The Mouse

Abigail Breslin -- Little Miss Sunshine herself is a star-on-the rise and with no dialogue, this one should be a breeze.

The Fox

Hayden Christensen -- Non-speaking roles suit the former Anakin Skywalker best. Just smile and look pretty. Good job Hayden!

The Goat

Jack Black -- The multifaceted Black can pull an Eddie Murphy to fill a second part as the cheery yellow goat.

Green Eggs

Pauly Shore -- In a dramatic return to the big screen.

Ham

Larry the Cable Guy -- Who else?

The Lorax is one Seuss story that actually got banned from schools and libraries, and not because it featured grumpy Christmas-haters or promoted moldy meat. In fact, take an adult glance at The Lorax and you'll find it's a not-so-thinly veiled treatise on not ruining the environment and completely raping and pillaging Mother Nature in favor of Mother Industry, which is very en vogue in our modern, green-centered society. Turns out Dr. Seuss was a tree-hugger. Who knew?

CASTING CHOICES:

Lorax

Al Gore -- Okay, so Gore may not be an actor, but he's already gotten involved in the movie business (and won an Oscar for it) and he's got those Lorax looks of bloat and no neck. Plus, Gore is the most famous tree-hugger out there and what better way to get the camera time he craves than on movie screens across America?

The Boy who goes to see the Once-Ler

Leonardo DiCaprio -- Already a member of the Gore camp, Leo is the perfect choice to bring the project credibility and box office clout.

The Once-Ler

Daniel Day-Lewis (voiceover) -- You never actually see the face of the Once-Ler, so this one is a toss-off for the classy actor fresh from his Oscar win. The same voice used for Daniel Plainview is perfectly suited to give the Once-Ler the proper commanding presence needed for the villainous enemy to the environment. "If I have Truffala Tree and you have a Truffala Tree and my Truffala Tree reaches acroooooooossss and starts to destroy your Truffala Tree..." okay, you get the picture.

The Bar-ba-loots

Cirque du Soleil -- Like most Dr. Seuss books, this one is a little skimpy for feature film adaptation. So you hire the Cirque du Soleil team to flesh out the frolicking Bar-ba-loots scene and add a visual performance interpretation to the plight of these innocents whose lives are destroyed by the greedy Once-Ler.

The Humming-Fish and the Swomee-Swans

CGI -- These unique Seuss characters are strictly visual. ILM or WETA can make them come to life and probably do something pretty cool with the Truffala Trees as well.

One of the good Dr.'s more lengthy works, One Fish can effectively be divided into two acts. The first is a kid-friendly, apparently LSD-inspired translation of Darwin's Origin of the Species; the second a series of encounters with some of the weirder members of the diverse Seussian animal kingdom. Filled with enough characters to give Robert Altman pause, One Fish's vast ensemble would likely have to be pared down for the big screen. Here are the ones we'd recommend:

CASTING CHOICES:

The Kids

Freddie Highmore -- These are the two main characters and most of the action is seen from their wide-eyed perspective. One's male and the other female, and both appear to be prematurely balding. Highmore portrayed identical twins in The Spiderwick Chronicles; let's see if he can play fraternal ones.

Ned

Nick Stahl -- A pear-shaped, mustard-tinged creature who's "too tall for his bed," Ned looks eerily similar to the Yellow Bastard character played by Stahl in Sin City.

Nook

William H. Macy -- A character who spends all of his time attempting to read a cook book even though he's functionally illiterate, his frustrated, hang-dog expression is perfect for him.

Zans

Joe Camel -- An oddly phallic-looking character (rhymes with "glans") whose primary role is to open cans. It's a fantastic opportunity to bring another famously phallic character out of retirement.

Gox

Russell Crowe -- A tall, imposing fellow who likes to box, this role is right up Russell Crowe's alley.

Yink

Keith Richards -- This eccentric creature likes to wink and drink pink ink -- hopefully the non-toxic kind. It's a nice fit for the Stone -- a rocker famous for ingesting odd and interesting substances.

Zeep

Vince Vaughn -- The last character in the book, Zeep likes to sleep, and the last page features him snuggling peacefully with the two kids. Michael Jackson is too easy for this one, so we're gonna go with an actor who looks like he could use some rest.