When we got word that Resident Evil star and L'Oréal cosmetics model Milla Jovovich was starring as Dr. Abigail Tyler, a cerebral psychiatrist, in The Fourth Kind, we were, like, "Huh?" It then got us thinking about our favorite least-believable roles, some that require even more suspension of disbelief.
10. Mark Wahlberg as Vincent Papale in Invincible
No, the least-believable football player in movie history is not Adam Sandler
as quarterback Paul Crewe in 2005's The Longest Yard
remake. Vincent Papale was 6' 2", 195 lbs. when he played football for the Philadelphia Eagles from 1976-78, as the oldest rookie to ever play in the NFL without college experience. Mark Wahlberg
is just 5' 6", and in every football scene he looked like the waterboy in shoulder pads.
9. Julia Roberts as a hooker in Pretty Woman
If you haven't noticed, the prostitutes on Hollywood Boulevard look more like Divine Brown than a woman who's made People
magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People in the World" 11 times. Remarkably there was still one thing even less believable than Julia Roberts
playing a hooker: the movie's plot.
8. Ben Affleck as Anything in Anything
There was fierce internal debate about whether Ben Affleck
was less believable as Matt Murdock/Daredevil in Daredevil
or as Ned Alleyn in Shakespeare in Love
. Then it hit us: Ben Affleck isn't believable in anything. Except, of course, as a smarmy-grinned actor who's fooled Hollywood into making him into A-list talent. Now *there's* a movie we'd like to see.
7. Drew Barrymore as Angel Dylan Sanders in Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
We can see Cameron Diaz
kicking ass. We can see Lucy Liu
kicking ass and
taking names. But we can't see Drew Barrymore
delivering a roundhouse kick to the face even if
she owned a successful chain of karate schools.
6. Orlando Bloom as a crusader in Kingdom of Heaven (or anything requiring testosterone)
Those 12th-century Christian crusaders were pretty badass. Orlando Bloom
isn't. His low-testosterone flow worked well when cast as the wimp Paris in Troy
and even better when he played an elf in the Lord of the Rings
trilogy. Bloom as an actual crusader? That would've prevented the Crusades.