STARFLEET INTEL REPORT
Name: James Tiberius Kirk
Height: 5' 8 1/2”
Weight: 165 lbs
Birth: March 22, 2233 in Riverside, Iowa
Planet of Origin: Earth
21-4.X9Q - Cheating:
During his time at Starfleet Academy, Kirk was presented with the "no-win" scenario of the Kobayashi Maru simulation test, which Kirk altered so that a proper solution could be made. In one timeline, Kirk was praised for "original thinking," while in an alternate timeline, he was sent before an official Starfleet inquiry, one that was never completed.
74-13.67PR - Teleporter Casualty:
On Stardate 12-6-79, Admiral Kirk replaced Captain Decker as the captain of the newly-outfitted Enterprise after spending two and a half years as Chief of Starfleet Operations. Upon his arrival, Kirk asked for the duration of the ship's final preparations to be brought down from 20 hours to 12, which did not allow enough time for the ship's new transporter to be thoroughly checked. This ultimately resulted in the deaths of Commander Sonak, the Enterprise's new science officer, and another, unnamed, female officer as they beamed aboard the ship. The unnamed officer is believed to be Vice Admiral Lori Ciana, but no one is sure, adding to the many, unnamed crew members that have perished under Kirk's watch.
24-9.5XX - Sexual Harassment:
Dating back to Kirk's initial five-year mission as Enterprise Captain, several Starfleet yeomen and ensigns, as well as as many female citizens from around the galaxy, have filed complaints about Kirk's unprofessionally amorous designs on them. While video evidence can be found here, the most condemning evidence of Kirk can be found below.
Lt. Uhura has also filed a complaint against Kirk, not for their infamous kiss, but for ordering her perform a nude moonlit dance on Numbus III in order to distract a patrol while Kirk and his landing party stole their horses. While the ruse worked, there was likely several alternatives that could have been effective as well and would have negated having Uhura perform the dance. Video evidence of Uhura's dance is below.
54-7L.9JX7 - Reckless Endangerment of Ship's Crew:
Shortly after assuming Decker's command, Kirk sent Enterprise into warp drive before the proper simulation procedures could be complete. The ship's imbalanced engines create a wormhole, one with an asteroid at the end that would have destroyed the ship were it not for
Captain Commander Decker's familiarity with the ship.
During that same mission to investigate the entity known as V'Ger, Kirk ignored a recommendation to disengage the ship's approach to the entity by Decker after V'Ger shot several plasma bolts at the ship. Enterprise's continued approach led to a death of Lieutenant Ilia, the ship's navigator.
While there are a multitude of other examples of Kirk endangering his crew, Starfleet felt it was important to include these two incidents from the V'Ger mission, as they are the ones that are most often forgotten by almost everyone familiar with the mission.
32-4.I9 - Refusal to Pay Child Support:
On Stardate 6.4.82, Kirk met with his former girlfriend, Dr. Carol Marcus, and David, their son. Raised solely by his mother, Kirk was not aware that David was his son, and though David was ultimately killed by by a Klingon warrior, Kirk is still legally responsible to pay back child support.
7R-8.7PL - Assault on Federation Officers, 29-3.RR8 - Disobeying Direct Orders, 3Q-9.776X - Theft of Federation Property and 3Q-9.776Y - Destruction of Federation Property:
On Stardate 6.1.84, Kirk and Lieutenant Sulu attacked Federation officers in charge of the brig, where Dr. McCoy was being held after being arrested for requesting illegal charter to the Genesis planet.
After taking McCoy from the brig, Kirk and his crew illegally boarded Enterprise, having been expressly denied assignment to Enterprise by Admiral Morrow. After taking the ship out of drydock, Kirk was commanded to stop the theft by Captain Sykes of USS Excelsior, but refused. Excelsior was unable to follow the ship due to missing parts from the ship's transwarp drive computer, clearly the work of Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott.
Not long after stealing Enterprise, the ship engaged in battle with Klingon Commander Kruge and his Bird-of-Prey. After exchanging several rounds of photon torpedoes, Enterprise was unable to raise their shields, likely due to Kirk thinking that he only needed a crew of five or so instead of the usual hundreds of crewmen. To fool the Klingon crew, Kirk and his crew set the self-destruct sequence for Enterprise, before safely beaming down to the Genesis planet.
It should be noted that the charges of Assault, Theft and Destruction charges — as well as the added charges of Conspiracy and Sabotage — were dismissed, but Kirk was stripped of his Admiral rank and demoted to Captain for disobeying direct orders. Several fellow officers have filed grievances about the demotion, including the aforementioned Captain Sykes and the Klingon ambassador to the United Federation of Planets, feeling that the punishment was not severe enough.
12-I.89 - Destruction of an Endangered Species:
During Kirk's stand-off with Klingon Commander Kruge, the Enterprise's photon blasts killed Kruge's pet, a alligator/dog hybrid which, while the exact species has yet to be identified, will never been see again as it was obviously the last of its kind. The Federation's environmental protection group is not only angry at Kirk for killing the beast, but also at Kruge from bringing an endangered species with him on his ship in the first place.
44-K.347 - Violation of Time Travel Limit:
On Stardate 11.26.86, Kirk and his Enterprise crew traveled back to the 1980s to collect two Humpback whales and bring them back to the 23rd century. The break into the spacetime continuum was considered a violation of the Federation's time travel limit considering the amount of times Kirk had gone into the past during his initial 5-year mission — including several trips to the 1960s even though they could have traveled to any time in history. While it's true that Kirk's trip back in time managed to save the planet from destruction by a giant, spherical probe, there are only so many times Starfleet will allow time travel, though, it should be noted, Kirk did not abuse this ability as much as some of the Starfleet captains that proceeded him.
57-J.42PL - Lighting a Fire in an Undesignated Area:
On Stardate 6.9.89, while on shore leave with Spock and Dr. McCoy, Kirk started a campfire in Yosemite National Park, which is still illegal. The trio were found on park grounds after complaints surfaced about three grown men signing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" around a campfire while eating whiskey-spiked baked beans. Video evidence is below.
44-J.92Y - Attempting Rescue Without a Security Team:
In Kirk's alternate timeline, he chooses Spock to accompany him in an attempt to rescue Captain Pike, but does not chose a security team, a violation of several Starfleet protocols. However, the move was praised by the head of security and the rest of the red shirted crew.