10. He’s a rock star.
Everybody loves a rock star, and Mark Wahlberg knows how to be a Rock Star with class.
9. He’s witty.
One thing’s for sure, Mr. Wahlberg knows how to land an insult. A bunch of malarkey leading up to the perfect insult, “and then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.”...Will Ferrell doesn’t stand a chance, especially against unexpected coffee spillage.
8. He’s a family man.
With a slew of bouncing babies trailing behind our favorite beefcake, Mark Wahlberg is a prime example of Hollywood family man.
7. He’s a hard worker.
Apparently nobody else in The Departed knows how to do their job. But don’t worry, the Boston-accented potty mouth in this NSFW clip is here to pick up the slack.
6. He cares about your mother.
We know that isn’t really Mark Wahlberg, but who cares? Adam Sandberg’s SNL impression of this Boston boy is spot on in our hearts. Just say hi to your motha for him.
5. He’s surprising.
Never have we hated Edward Norton as much as in this moment of The Italian Job. Or loved Mr. Wahlberg quite as much.
4. He Does Alright.
We totally understand why Tina Fey remembered his name in Date Night.
Marky Mark doesn’t need to say a word. The Calvin Klein ad that put him on the map also managed to steal our hearts.
2. He knows how to bust a rhyme.
Speaking of Marky Mark, remember this gem? Back in the day when “yo” was legitimately a cool word, Mark Wahlberg was saying it, and jigging alongside the Funky Bunch.
1. He's got big guns.
Ahem, “guns.” Mark knows hows all about pain and gain. We’re so distracted by his biceps that we have yet to notice 1-9 on this list. Now those are some big guns.