Our 27 Favorite Chuck Norris Facts
08.19.14 by REELZ
It's going to be one badass weekend on REELZChannel, with plenty of Chuck Norris action. It all starts on Saturday, August 23rd with Delta Force II at 5:30p ET/ 2:30 PT, followed by Missing In Action and Missing in Action 2. Obviously that's not enough Chuck Norris for anyone, so the Norris movies continue on into Sunday as well as Monday. Check schedule for details.
In honor of Mr. Norris and his career full of epic badass-ery, we're running through the 27 best Chuck Norris facts.
1. Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
2. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
3. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
5. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
6. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack — his heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
7. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
8. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
9. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
10. Once, a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
11. The only word that rhymes with orange is Chuck Norris.
12. Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
13. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
14. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
15. The Elder Wand is actually Chuck Norris' toothpick.
16. When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive — the zombies do.
17. If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
18. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
19. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
20. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
21. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
22. Chuck Norris is suing Sunny D, because only Chuck Norris can unleash the power of the sun.
23. Chuck Norris was once on the Price is Right, and the price was wrong.
24. When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
25. Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
26. Chuck Norris keeps the earth spinning with continuous round-house kicks.
27. Chuck Norris doesn't get hurt. Hurt gets Chuck Norris.
Thanks to Chuck Norris Facts and Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts for recording and archiving all the astounding achievements of one Mr. Chuck Norris.