An obnoxious businessman (Anthony Anderson) arranges his own kidnapping to foil his wife's (Kellita Smith) impending divorce settlement.
" Little in this film suggests 'director' Jeff Byrd and writer Wayne Conley possess any facility -- or familiarity -- with irony or any other comedic device. "
" King's Ransom is a wit-deficient barrage of obnoxious characters and second-hand punchlines. "
" With the humor in this lazy farce about as subtle as a shotgun blast to the face, it's possible to see the whole movie as an accident, the cumulative result of haphazard negligence. "
" Doesn't pay off. "
" Somewhere in a pitch meeting someone must have piped up: 'I know. We'll have a guy named 'King' and he gets kidnapped, see? So there's a 'ransom'! King's Ransom, get it? After that, I've got nothing.' "
" The Chronicle's Little Man was fighting an internal struggle to abandon his chair altogether, but was ultimately swayed to continue his nap, mostly by a few of the comics in supporting roles. "
" The script, by TV writer Wayne Conley, shares some elements with the old Danny DeVito comedy Ruthless People, but humor isn't one of them. "
" The scenarios are halfway convincing and at times even passably clever; they are never, however, especially funny. "
" Basically an improv scene sprawling to feature length. "
" Devoid of anything resembling wit or even guiltily amusing tasteless gags, the film lurches from one haplessly staged sequence to another, with the performers vainly struggling to infuse humor into the proceedings. "
" Marital bickering, a mistaken-identity sex romp and booty shots galore follow, but few laughs. "
" After a while, all these odious, yammering people start to sound a lot like Charlie Brown's teacher. And they somehow all end up together at a time and a place you do not want to be. "
" Merely a collection of antics clothespinned to a plot. "
" The desperately unfunny kidnapping farce King's Ransom is the cinematic equivalent of trampled chewing gum on a subway platform. "
" None of this is remotely funny, despite screenwriter Wayne Conley's resorting to virtually every known stereotype about African-Americans and more crass references to menstruation and prison sex than have ever appeared in a movie rated PG-13. "
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