- 7
...a strong rival for Star Trek among the summer's most purely exciting action films.
—Tasha Robinson Onion AV Club
- 6
...fast-paced, decently cast and, shall we say, "easy on the brain." Unfortunately, it's also frequently laugh-out-loud cheesy, and the digital effects are highly dubious.
—Luke Y. Thompson E!
- 5
...interrupts its barrage of CGI action for only the barest minimum of anything resembling character development.
—Richard Kuipers Variety
- 5
...unlike the atrocious Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which was just a random assemblage of footage that few reasonable people could enjoy, G.I. Joe is not a fraudulent entertainment. It arrives at the court of 11-year-old public opinion fully prepared and confident in its wares, with a handful of expensive, ass-kicking set pieces and exposition filler that's designed to float by as painlessly as possible -- nothing more. Knowing that going in is, well, half the battle.
—Ryan Stewart Slant Magazine
- 5
After a first hour that plays like a bad TV show, [director] Sommers hits his groove with an over-the-top Paris chase sequence that, in turn, leads to an underwater finale that's absurdly overproduced, momentarily diverting, and then instantly forgettable.
—Chuck Wilson Village Voice
- 5
G.I. Joe may not be beefier, but it's cheesier and less aggravating than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the summer '09 headbanger it most resembles. Better than Transformers 2! Do you realize how little that actually says?
—Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune
- 4
For better or for worse, what G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra inarguably does is to replicate quite well the experience of watching the militarized toy-advertisement cartoons that enraptured so many youthful males during the Reagan era.
—Chris Barsanti filmcritic.com
- 4
...a 118-minute animated film with sequences involving the faces and other body parts of human beings. It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence. Nevertheless, it is better than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
—Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times
- 3
The F/X are relentless, the acting is god-awful, the one-liners are corny, and it goes on forever. Worst of all, the rah-rah teen-targeted flick fetishizes shiny military weaponry to such a degree that it feels like a really expensive (and really irresponsible) recruitment ad.
—Chris Nashawaty Entertainment Weekly
- 3
...deliver(s) one high-octane, heavily CGI-laden action set piece after another, to ultimately deadening effect.
—Frank Scheck Hollywood Reporter
- 2
This is the kind of film where baddies say, "Now you die," where friends say, "You almost lost your life out there -- you have a reason to be concerned," and where gruff leaders growl, "Let's do this." Let's not.
—Kyle Smith New York Post
- 2
...Paramount Pictures' ... latest gaseous emission.
—Manohla Dargis New York Times
- 2
...a mercilessly incoherent, galactically stupid movie...
—Peter Travers Rolling Stone