It contains little comedy, except for free-standing one-liners, and no suspense, except for the timing of the obligatory reconciliation. It doesn't even make you think you'd like to visit its island paradise.
—Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times
...a not lousy but unmemorable tropical-vacation comedy.
—Dennis Harvey Variety
This intermittently funny tale of four couples undergoing relationship therapy struggles hard for its occasional laughs.
—Kirk Honeycutt Hollywood Reporter
Though I enjoy nearly everyone on-screen in Couples Retreat, I found it pretty meager and more than a little depressing.
—Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune
...tedious, unromantic, sophomoric and only sporadically funny...
—Claudia Puig USA Today
A Swingers sequel, this is not.
—Ande Dagan E!
—Norm Schrager filmcritic.com
An ostensible paean to making a marriage work, Couples Retreat is instead so long, inert, and torturously unfunny that it makes a strong case for the drunk-and-promiscuous single life.
—Nick Schager Slant Magazine
A toddler pees at the start of the mirthless mess that is Couples Retreat and poops just before the end credits roll. How fitting. You too will want to speedily flush this comic waste matter from your memory.
—Peter Travers Rolling Stone
...a schmaltzy, smutty and mean-spirited quasi-satire set in a touchy-feely New Age resort.
—Lou Lumenick New York Post