- 7
The trailer was sublime. As a feature, Machete is more fun than it isn't, but its deadpan mockery of exploitation clichés often slips a bit too close to being the real, schlocky thing.
—Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly
- 7
...delivers the '70s-style B-movie goods with a relentless onslaught of over-the-top violence, extreme gore, gratuitous nudity and cheap laughs, with a healthy dose of up-to-the-minute political satire to sweeten the package. However, what was mightily entertaining in a three-minute trailer proves somewhat wearisome over the course of a feature.
—Frank Scheck Hollywood Reporter
- 7
...eccentric and playful, though not recommended for the squeamish or humorless.
—Claudia Puig USA Today
- 7
...a pulpy, lighthearted gorefest...
—Stephen Holden New York Times
- 6
...this slam-bang B-movie pastiche is wildly uneven as it doggedly strives (sometimes with obvious strain) to sustain a free-wheeling, anything-goes air of exuberant junkiness.
—Joe Leydon Variety
- 6
...there's enough bloodshed and babe-itude here to satisfy the voracious viewer.
—Luke Y. Thompson E!
- 6
This unholy mess replaces the artful ambition of The American with torture, blood spray, kinky sex, twisted fun and a bizarro critique of U.S. policy on illegal immigration.
—Peter Travers Rolling Stone
- 6
It's often stylish and exciting, but the pile-up of cool kills, hot bodies, and other unprocessed bits of juvenilia doesn't add up to a good time.
—Scott Tobias Onion AV Club
- 6
...the film ... may be a weird combo of speechy and pulpy but it's also ... self-aware, flashy and fun.
—Kyle Smith New York Post
- 5
At 105 minutes, Machete is at least half an hour too long for its own good.
—Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune
- 5
...doesn't push the comedic or violent envelope nearly far enough to generate base thrills. Rather, it feigns outrageousness while too often opting to earnestly indulge in the very badass poses and sincere political sermonizing it should be delivering with tongue firmly in cheek, if not outright sending up.
—Nick Schager Slant Magazine
- 5
It's outlandishly gory and bluntly political, the latter being more interesting than the former. It wears out its welcome, though, long before la revolución, and sequels are promised.
—Michael Phillips Los Angeles Times
- 4
Because there's no real character drama or consistent critique grounding the spoof, when Machete isn't laugh-out-loud funny, it's deadly boring.
—Karina Longworth Village Voice
- 4
...the director's dullest, shallowest, and most self-satisfied film to date.
—Chris Cabin filmcritic.com
- 4
Because there's no real character drama or consistent critique grounding the spoof, when Machete isn't laugh-out-loud funny, it's deadly boring.
—Karina Longworth LA Weekly