Based on the novel "A Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs.
" Suffers from a convoluted plot and an anticlimactic resolution, but hits enough high notes along the way to be enjoyable. "
" Where John Carter continually gets it right is pacing, levity, and breadth of story. "
" It isn't bad so much as innocuous, $250-million worth of innocuous, framed by a decent start and a solid finish but sagging through the long middle like a cheap mattress. "
" It's hard to believe Pixar's founder would have signed off on this project. The film is as overcomplicated, bloated and crash-prone as a bad-old-days Microsoft release. "
" Gets off to such an incoherent start that it takes almost the entire, interminable two-hour-plus running time to catch up. "
" There's nothing to see, nothing to think about, nothing to care about, and nothing to feel, just emptiness. The emptiness is never filled over the course of 132 long, barren minutes. "
" A deadly heaviness brings Disney's would-be epic down. "
" A mess. "
" "John Carter" is a huge bore. "
" Though messy and overlong, it's an enjoyable throwback to the movie spectacles of a more innocent age. "
" The reported $250 million price tag for John Carter gives one pause. I suppose one could argue that masterpieces have no price. Then again, John Carter is no masterpiece. "
" There's something generic about the digitally rendered Martians (whatever their stripe and skin tone), and there's a corniness to the dialogue that keeps the audience from any kind of emotional attachment to the Tharks and Zodangans and their ilk. "
" The most indelible performance in the film is not, strictly speaking, a performance at all. Rather it is Woola, a six-legged Martian hound who rather resembles a cross between a bulldog and a fetal gila monster. "
" This middle section, in which both Carter and the audience get a crash course in the politics, history, and theology of the Red Planet, is the movie at its most imaginative and most fun. "
" Against the odds, "John Carter'' is itself pretty amazing - an epic pulp saga that slowly rises to the level of its best imitations and wins you over by degrees. "
" All of these characters, and the richly detailed backdrops, are utterly immersive and lifelike - even without the completely unnecessary 3-D. "
" Whenever the fighting stops and two people have to stand and talk, all the air goes out of everything. Suddenly it feels as if we're in an empty theater, watching a dusty old sword-and-sandal epic. "
" Messy and chaotic ... but also colorful and kind of fun. "
" It starts with a great story - of love and politics, time travel and mystical pathways between planets - badly sucked dry. "
" The villains are overwrought and the design of Mars is surprisingly bland. "
REELZ isn't just a great place for movie reviews and celebrity news, we also have a great slate of original programming.
Choose one of our shows below to learn more!
SIGN UP FOR THE REELZ NEWSLETTER: