Based on the Hasbro naval combat game.
" Mostly, Battleship is a noisy, overlong and numbing military-vs.-aliens saga with laughably bad dialogue. "
" If the movie is anything like the game, I say stay at home and read a good book (or graphic novel). Or listen to an audiobook - In short, do anything else. "
" [It] has a plot as unambitious as a macaroni dinner, familiar and easy to eat and not particularly nutritious. "
" Battleship is substantially less awful than it could have been. And for me, that may have been the biggest disappointment of all. "
" This is the kind of summer movie that softens your brain tissue without even providing the endocrine burst of pleasure that would make it all worthwhile. "
" "Battleship" is an invigorating blast of cinematic adrenaline. "
" Once the special effects take over, Berg has little room to assert his personality (or tell a story, for that matter), and the movie feels like a chore. "
" It makes "Top Gun" look like the work of Orson Welles. At least the Tom Cruise movie remembered to cast actual actors. "
" Hey, if you're Hasbro and Universal, and you've agreed to make a movie based on nothing more than brand recognition of a game, you've got to fill two hours with something. "
" Well, it has aliens, for one thing. "
" Something of an earnest, two-hour infomercial that should do wonders for naval recruiting if not civilian entertainment. "
" Battleship is all noise and crashing metal, sinking to the shallows of Michael Bay's Armageddon and then digging to the brain-extinction level of the Transformers trilogy. "
" Big loud stupid dopey shameless cliched overbearing and did I mention stupid? "
" It's loud, it's large, it's stupid, and its best gag involves a chicken burrito. "
" The film boasts a destroyer's wallop of visual effects, but not enough brains to fill a dinghy. "
" Like "Transformers," which it rivals in relentlessness, "Battleship" comes with its own force field, a furious energy that renders criticism irrelevant. "
" Battleship is dopey, preposterous and unintentionally hilarious in all the wrong places, but as directed by Peter Berg, it is also energetic, fast-moving and bracing. "
" "Battleship" doesn't sink, really. It just sits there booming endlessly as you look on aghast. "
" I was never bored. And that, sadly, makes it better than most of the other expensive and over-hyped films of its ilk. "
" One can be sure that heroic characters get what they want, bond with enemies, and earn respect. "
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