STRAW DOGS rating

I had to do a paper on this, but the results would have been the same.


I work in Irving, so the easiest choice of theatres for me was the Irving show. If you’ve been to that theatre, you know it smells. Not the nostalgic aroma of popcorn, and sizzling hotdogs. The smell of baby diapers, people who don’t brush their teeth very often, and something baked, that you don’t want to eat, but isn’t so bad you can’t do the assignment there. I had been hoping to see “Straw Dogs”, with my Granddad, who saw the 1971 original, and just told me it was a great show. He won’t tell you a sub-plot, even if you tortured him, but if he says the original is good, I believe him. Even at a partially stale and questionably smelling theatre, a good movie and a hot, okay an all right date, isn’t so bad. My brother works with me, not my Granddad, or a girl even worth asking to go sit at the 3:05 Show, in charming, Irving, Texas.
We got there, and the place was a ghost town, you could almost hear that sound they play in old ghost town movies, but not quite. More like the box office person, who also doubled as the concession clerk, almost broke into a snore. Sorry to ruin your dream, can we get some popcorn, twizzlers and cokes, is what I wanted to say, but I didn’t. I just ordered. My job is no great shakes, but this kid looks like something out of “Zombieland”, if you haven’t seen that? Don’t bother. I am saving you money, and a bit of PTSD. Bad movies, all the more reason I was looking forward to this one. My brother and I got our popcorn, and our drinks. They didn’t have twizzlers. Yes, it is that kind of dump, but they did give me a military discount. It turns out the kid wasn’t a zombie, after all. He was just bored stiff serving over cooked popcorn and dealing with the 7 people who come to the movies at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, when it is not summer. He did see part of my military i.d., and lit up like a Christmas tree. Well, maybe a bulb, but he noticed. Asked me if I had been in any “action”, he wants to be a Marine. I am not a Marine, and I have seen no “action” other than some month long deployments in Hawai’i, and Wisconsin. No coconut or cheese bombs, sorry buddy. I felt like I had let him down, but I wasn’t going to the movies to tell some kid some story, I am going to try to see a cool movie and maybe get a decent grade.
The theatre is dingy, the house lights are on, but they probably haven’t changed the light bulbs since 2000. We didn’t get the most foul of the theatres, and our chairs weren’t broken. At this theatre, that is a miracle, the kind you find on whatever the street name is of the movie my Mom used to make us watch at holiday time. Yes, that was a plug, but it was well placed. And yes, I can sing along to the munchkin song, and I know the oompa-loompa song, too. Johnny Depp was not involved, injured or mistreated during the making of these movies. I don’t even think I was alive, but my Mom lived through it. Back to the theatre, I was with my brother, we would have probably done some jerk move like throw popcorn at people, but no one was there but us, and we aren’t 14 anymore. I almost had to take out financing on the popcorn, and cokes. It is my assignment and my brother got a whole different point of the Grinch Stole Christmas, than I did. They do not give any discounts for the high dollar treats, even at the stinky theatre.
The houselights dim, the music swells, all is well. You think. Until they start running trailers for movies that have been out for a month or so. Alright, fair enough, it is a stinky theatre and I did get a discount, even one for my brother who hogs the popcorn and over salts it. You are my Instructor, and I am not going to lead you down the yellow brick road. Or maybe I will, because there are definitely some tin men, with no brains, and something getting stuffed with straw, and it wasn’t a scarecrow, maybe the couple that just walked in. Why do they do this to us? I am g